5 abril 1994...El grunge está muerto - La muerte de Kurt Cobain
Enciendo el televisor. Sintonizo el canal de videos y en un corte informativo escucho algo que me deja en shock. “Kurt Cobain, el líder del grupo Nirvana fue encontrado muerto en su casa de Seattle, al parecer fue suicidio”, esta línea la escupían las bocinas del televisor, mostrando imágenes de la casa con policías a su alrededor. Al fin, Kurt lo había logrado. Momentos después, aparece en la pantalla Courtney Love, leyendo entre su llanto y coraje, la carta suicida de Cobain, en la que una vez más, expresa el repudio que tenía a la fama que rápidamente adquirió, la tristeza que sentía al engañar a las personas por hacer algo que no disfrutaba y sobre todo, por haber perdido la pasión por su música, la mejor medicina que encontró durante tantos años para curar su úlcera estomacal, además de la heroína.
14 años después es recordado como el ícono de la generación X, la representación del desenfado, la inconformidad y la ira presentes entre la juventud de la década de los 90´s. Este ícono, este mártir de la música, desapareció, según reporte policiacos, de un escopetazo por la boca, dejando un legado de 4 álbumes de estudio (Bleach, Nevermind, Incesticide, In Utero) y el mejor acústico de la cadena MTV grabado en Nueva York. Sus letras, enviando mensajes confusos, pero a la vez poéticos ycon fuerza, frases como "luché muy fuerte por un padre y en vez de eso obtuve un papá" o "puedes despedirme porque renuncio" y su polémica canción I hate myself and want to die, son sentimientos que nos fue regalando a cuentagotas dentro de todas y cada una de sus piezas para conocer al Cobain en sufrimiento, vacío y sin más sueños por cumplir.
“Es mejor consumirse que desvanecerse”, es la frase con la que terminó su carta, antes de reunirse con Boddah (su amigo imaginario de la infancia) una vez más.
Para algunos cobarde por usar la salida fácil, para otros la única forma de legitimarse y ser congruente con sus ideales, lo cierto es que es el genio incomprendido, el poeta, el músico cambió la historia del rock y su industria, abriendo paso a grandes bandas del movimiento grunge como Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains y ser influencia para las futuras generaciones.Hace 14 años se extinguió Kurt Cobain y con él, terminó la revolución musical.
Carta Suicida - Kurt Cobain
To Boddah
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.
All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.
For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.
On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!
I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.
I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.
Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.
Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain
Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.
I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!
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Etiquetas:
90´s,
grunge,
Kurt Cobain,
nirvana,
rock
